Well it's now been almost 10 months since I've graduated from college and yet here I am, 22, unemployed, and still living with my parents.
First off, there is absolutely nothing wrong with living with your parents. In fact, I actually enjoy living at home (rent-free) with access to regularly home cooked meals and baked treats. I love spending time with my family and younger siblings after they come home from their work/school days. What I want to address here is the state of my mental health and how I'm dealing with my post-grad depression.
Per my Instagram post:
"Repeat after me: Be patient. In time you will see your hard work pay off, you will be successful, you will be happy, you will achieve all that you want to achieve and more✨
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I’ve found myself feeling stuck recently. It seems like what was supposed to be a temporary transition period is going on longer than expected. It’s tough not having a lot of control and being in the “in-between”, but staying optimistic and positive is something I’m learning to choose everyday. And to everyone else who may be feeling the same way, here is a little positive motivation for you... You Can. And You Will. (whatever that may be for you✨) #bellamjacinto "
For someone who has been in school for all of her life (18 years), I've gotten accustomed to having some sort of routine that revolved around school and/or work, extra curricular activities, whatever crumbs of a social life I have, and homework. That being said, I was always busy. Always on the go, anticipating my next move. And then graduation came around and BOOM. Nothing. I found myself idle at home with nothing much to do. (Aside from the time I spent abroad **see blog post on taking time off here**).
As a person who needs to keep moving, not having anything to do really made room for my biggest enemy... my thoughts. I began to really question my self-worth and purpose in life. Did I chose the right major, Did I do enough internships? Did I put myself out there enough? Did I make enough (and the right kind of) friends? What job do I really want? Where can I see myself being the happiest and most successful? and other self-reflecting questions. While it is always good to self-reflect every once in a while, I found myself being clouded with more insecurities and negative thoughts, especially after hearing about my friends' successes and future plans.
While I couldn't be happier for my friends and excited for what was next in their lives, I couldn't help but feel unaccomplished and unsuccessful especially after sending out several job applications and only receiving rejections or no responses at all. It really stabbed at my confidence level and made me question if I was actually capable of doing the things I wanted to do in life.
My depression and anxiety started to screw with my head. It's hard not knowing what the future has in store for me, but I found that letting my depression and anxiety take over my thoughts made me feel even worse than what the situation actually was. So I decided that I loved myself enough not to let these negative thoughts take over. That's when I picked up The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want by Sonja Lyubomirsky in an effort to take my happiness into my own hands (which is the way it should be. Btw, I'm still learning how to do that too).
Reading that book helped A LOT in figuring out what "Happiness Activities" and strategies would work best for me and figuring out what steps I can take to make myself happier. I read through the entire book and it really comforted me knowing that sometimes my negative thoughts and insecurities are normal, but it also showed me areas I can improve on and what steps I can take to make myself even just a little bit happier. I've learned tips on how to stop overthinking (or at least decrease it), develop healthier coping strategies, and ways for being more optimistic.
Some of the steps I've taken since reading the book are journaling (especially when I'm upset), writing letters to an imaginary confidant, working on creative writing and projects (flow activities), reading and re-reading old books, and committing myself to a regular morning stretch/workout with cardio (yay for routines!). And when that doesn't work, a good cry and some (dairy-free) ice cream or a hot shower also helps.
So while it is really tough living in this "in-between" extended temporary transition period, there is not much I can do about it but control the way I perceive this part of my life. I can choose to view it negatively and let my post-grad depression and anxiety take over, or I can choose to stay a bit more positive and optimistic about my future. Maybe this period in time is just a (well-deserved) rest period from the past 18 years in school, or maybe I haven't found the right job for me yet because the position doesn't exist and I need to create it?
Either way, managing my mental health is something I'm still relatively new at and I'm learning so much about myself. So for now, I'm just going to take things day by day. And for anyone who may be in the same boat as me, just know that you aren't alone. Say it with me: We Can. And We Will (whatever that may be for you).
Love Always,
Bella
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